Sunday, October 5, 2014

I Will Survive

When I was in school, I took an Environmental Biology class. What did I do the first day of the semester when I walked into that basement classroom in the MARB? I walked straight to the front row and sat down.

Now you may think I did so because I either a) love science or b) am a phenomenal student who craves sitting in the front row. To both assertions, I say, "HA!!" I'll tell you the real purpose of my sitting in the front row. I took this class the semester I came back to BYU after a little sabbatical from school. For multiple reasons, I had made some foolish decisions the year before that affected my dedication to school and I wasn't in the best place personally. After eight months of living at home and screwing my head back on, I was HIGHLY motivated to get back in the groove and put myself on the right track again. (and not just because i didn't want to go back to my parents' home; love you, mom and dad, but living at home after the age of 19 was not my favorite. i'm sure it wasn't yours, either.) It was not only this enthusiasm that prompted me to sit in the front row and soak up all the knowledge my professor had to share; I sat there because it made me accountable. Even if this professor didn't ever learn my name, maybe he would remember my face. Of course, it's likely he didn't even do THAT, but to my brain, it helped me to think that he would and therefore it would be noticed if I didn't show up to class. Hence, accountability.

Which brings me to why I am writing today. Beginning tomorrow, I am beginning a weight loss/healthy eating/exercise challenge. The challenge itself is 30 days, and I won't really get into specifics of what exactly I'll be doing, but I may post about how I'm feeling and other related things at various points throughout the month. So, for anybody who pays attention to this blog, please send good vibrations my way, because I'm pretty nervous.

I'm nervous because I have a tendency to fall off the wagon after a mere week of doing things better. I'm nervous because I don't want to have a bad attitude for a month, and I'm really afraid that my desire for potato chips might make me do just that. I'm nervous that I won't do very well, and that I'll spend 30 days beating myself up for the times I may inevitably slip.

But I know I need to do it. When I'm not nervous, I'm mainly glad that my facebook friend invited me to the challenge, because I have let myself get into bad habits for too long. I have been lazy too much. And I need to fix it. I know I'll feel better about myself if I stick to this and let it change my lifestyle. Because, really, I need an overhaul, no matter how much I love cookies.

So here it is. My 30-year-old equivalent of sitting in the front row in Environmental Biology. (let's just hope that it surprises me like that class did and i really enjoy it.) I'm putting this out into the universe to make myself accountable to anyone and everyone. Not only for support (although heaven knows i need that), but so that I know others are watching me. Not that I think anybody will scrutinize or criticize (nor do i want that), but it's important to me that others know what I'm doing. And others who actually know me. I'm part of a challenge group, and I'm grateful for the support and advice I'll be getting there, but I also want people I know to be aware. Because it forces me to do and be better for longer than three days.

Wish me luck!


"Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away." -Paul Terry

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