Wednesday, September 15, 2010

That Don't Impress Me Much

I'd like the publicly thank Elder Scott for calling movie dates "stupid" because 1), it's pretty much totally true, and 2), it made me laugh out loud during the CES fireside on Sunday night. I will admit, I've gone on movie dates (both by asking and being asked), and none of them have been bad, mostly because I've generally gone with guys that I already knew to some degree and we had fun commenting on them.

But it's true. Movie dates are stupid. And after being a third wheel to an extremely awkward and terrible movie date on Friday night, I especially feel that way. Even if it's going well and you're getting along, movie dates are still a bad idea.

So begins my list of dating activities and habits that I definitely think are faux pas (and i've done some of them myself, so this is partly learned from personal experience):

1. Movie dates. Sure, it's fine once you've known each other awhile, but if you're attempting to know someone better, sitting in the dark for two hours with them isn't going to help you do so. (that goes for making out, too.)

2. Over-long dates. There's nothing wrong with keeping a date short. One of my favorite dates in semi-recent history was an ice cream date that wasn't much more than an hour. Bulking up on activities or attempting to draw it out, even if you're both interested, just isn't worth it.

3. DTRs on a second date. "Oh, my gosh, we've made it to a second date, which means you must really like me a lot, so please be my boyfriend!" Okay, maybe they're not that desperate, but unfortunately several boys and girls (in utah county especially) go on so few dates that when the miraculous second date occurs with the same person, you jump the gun.
3a. Actually, DTRs in general. While not always required, they are often a necessary evil. But I don't think anyone enjoys them, even if there's a good outcome.

4. Mentioning past relationships. While you may want your date to know that you are attractive and past relationships are proof that at one time someone thought you were, you also don't want to make your date think you're still hung up on a previous significant other ... or that you're a bitter girl who hates men as a result of a bad break-up.

5. Obsession with being original and creative. Sure, you want to make an impression, especially if you're hoping for recurring dates, but it can cause some really unnecessary grief. Pres. Uchtdorf had it right when he said, "Dates don't have to be -- and in most cases shouldn't be -- expensive and over-planned affairs. ... Relax. Find simple ways to be together." Amen to that. Maybe I'm boring, but the standard activities that people are afraid to repeat simply because they're unoriginal are more than acceptable to me. I still like having fun, but you can have fun going out for ice cream. There's a good reason why it's a tried-and-true activity.

(something about this list tells me i like ice cream.)

So what are some good dating habits? Maybe that should be my next post, so I'm not just focusing on the negative.


"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer." -Rita Mae Brown


The Colemans said...

1. Making kites with paper bags from Winco(ok from anywhere).
2. Eating at a taco stand that is located in a trailer park from people who only speak Spanish.
3. Going for a walk or a scooter ride or just going for a drive.
4. Attending the Farmer's Market.
5. Playing on a Wii, if available.
6. Making jam or some other baked good.
7. Carving pumpkins.
8. Hiking.
9. I could keep going, but I have to teach in 5 min.

Julia said...

Thank you Megan! It's such simple logic- yet so few people get it... :)

Charity said...

Requirements for a good (first) date:
some kind of activity that allows for talking without awkwardness, which means avoiding movies (i HATE when people talk through movies) and avoiding dinner dates (no fun trying to talk while also trying to look demure and attractive shoving food into your mouth.)
I like(d) bowling, dancing, and hiking. Back when I did that sort of thing...

Teresa W said...

Megan, you hit it right on! Short and simple definitely make the best 1st dates.
Oh, and hello. I have been secretly loving your blog and the thoughts that come with it. I guess it's time to let you know. :) I hope life is going well for you!