I'll Save You From the Terror on the Screen

I still haven't decided if I enjoy being scared. You'd think that people wouldn't like being scared ... ever, but some individuals enjoy the adrenaline rush. Scary movies, rollercoasters, haunted houses, etc. They exist for a reason: some people like them. They have the luxury of being scared while remaining safe. Go figure.

I just don't know if I am one of the people who like or hate it. But I do know I like watching my friends be scared when I know what's coming. Last week, visiting the corn maze at Thanksgiving Point, while I got a little tired of the constant screaming by the girls with me, I rather enjoyed seeing them scared as I was the one to lead them through. (although ... i didn't know what was coming that time. i was just not nearly as scared as they were.)

Last night, I watched Wait Until Dark with some friends next door, and being blessed with the advantage of having seen the movie before, I was looking forward to the especially suspenseful and frightening moments. Why was I looking forward to them? Because I knew they would all jump and scream. And when they did so last night, I laughed. How incredibly mean of me.

And then I think of watching Arachnophobia last Friday next door. I saw it long ago as a little kid (can't believe i watched it at the age of six or seven ... how did that slip past mom's radar?), but there were only a couple of snippets I remembered. Was I laughing then? Nope. Half the movie, I was using my blanket to shield my eyes from the screen. No question about my enjoyment, or more appropriately, the lack thereof, during the evening. And yet, the "spider" my roommates planted in my bed didn't disturb me a bit. I felt it, wondered what it was, and promptly fell asleep. I wasn't even afraid to lift up my covers in the morning and discover what was at the foot of my bed. Curious.

I suppose it depends on the manner of being frightened that changes my pleasure in being so affected. Haunted maze? Fun-scared. Wait Until Dark? Fun-scared with the additional sadistic glee of seeing everybody else jump. Arachnophobia? NOT fun-scared. Creepy crawlies that can leap across a room and kill you? You can keep those particular thrills, thank you.

-Me

"Wait here, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable." -Rick Moranis, Little Shop of Horrors

Go Greased Lightning

The king is dead. Long live the king.

I think this applies to the biggest news of my life of the last week, aside from my parents being in town and hanging with my family over the weekend. I got myself a new car!

Of course, it's a used car, but it's never been used by me, and it's been used less than the car I've been driving for the last three and a half years. I've been very fond of that good, faithful Corolla, but it was time for an upgrade to a car that proves I'm not still a poor college student.

So forgive me if I boast, and don't mock me too much when I say I got the feeling that I'd betrayed the old car as I drove past it the other day. But I'm pretty excited, and I think you should be, too! I'm liking my ride.

-Me

"Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if you car could go straight upwards." -Fred Hoyle

They're Creepy and They're Kooky

I'll tell you one of the things I love about fall and the season of Halloween: the accessories! Actually, that's something I love about the holiday season in general, because it's definitely not restricted to just Halloween. But currently it's October, and that's the holiday on the brain, especially after visiting the haunted maze and going on the hay ride last night (what fun to have my friends cling to my jacket as we walked ... and occasionally ran ... through the maze. when did i become the brave one?).

I love my Halloween earrings. I believe the count is at six or seven pairs, all of which I think are so fun. Not to be less regarded are the hair clips, necklaces, and socks that illuminate what this season is really about, namely black cats, spider webs, and skeletons. When October began and I wore my pumpkin-headed scarecrow earrings to work, I literally hopped a little as I showed them off in exuberant delight to my amused co-workers.

Sylvia says that I remind her of kindergarten teachers with my adoration of the Halloween accessories, but I disagree. I have not bought a Halloween sweater, after all.

Maybe next year.

-Me

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." -Harold Wilson

Blue Monday

You know you've had a good weekend when you come to work on Monday even more tired than when you left it on Friday afternoon. The only downside? You come to work on Monday even more tired than when you left it on Friday afternoon.

I already said something about this, but I'll repeat that I watched ... a really wonderful movie ... with some gal pals on Friday night. It had been a few months since I'd watched it, and I was most definitely craving it. The friends who came had also already seen it, so we actually spent a lot of time jabbering away while the movie played, only pausing to swoon during significant scenes (and some others in between). Of course, there was also the inevitable laughter generated at my expense as I pointed out the lack of a cravat in a scene and then later when I started cawing like a crow in response to a comment of Megan's.

I looked simply fabulous on Saturday night as an up-and-coming 1930s Hollywood actress/director while attending a murder mystery dinner. (and i better have, considering the effort i went through to find a dress. finally went up to salt lake that morning to patronize a vintage clothing store.) You'd think that accusing seven other people for two and a half hours for the murder of the big-time producer who turns out to be your uncle wouldn't be too entertaining, but I had a lot of fun. Trying to segue into revealing important information as everybody else was doing the same thing was sometimes a bit of a chore, but I was pretty pleased with my ability to do so semi-effectively. And I felt pretty doing it, which is naturally what is most important to me.

(and now i don't have to worry about what i'm going to be for halloween.)

Glen and me in our get-ups.

Sunday evening, I attended a "24 years and older" singles' dinner that turned out to be quite the large affair. The whole point was to mingle and mix, and I met a couple of new people, but I spent the chief of my time chatting it up with friends, all the while resisting the urge to consume any of the cookies I brought with me. (silly sugar fast. is it november yet?)

-Me

"One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend." -Quentin Crisp

A Lovely Night

I'm hopeless.

Watched North and South tonight with some girlfriends.

That should explain my opening sentence pretty well. :)

-Me

"Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays." -Oscar Wilde

Always There to Be My Guy

There's a new man in my life. He likes to travel around, always has a smile on his face, and is a pretty sharp dresser. Allow me to introduce him. Clyde.

Okay, he hasn't really got much of a personality, but he always makes his way back to me. Beats me how he does it, though, considering he can't exactly move his feet. Clyde was introduced into our office a couple weeks ago during our Spirit Week, and it's become a running joke to wonder where he's going to turn up next. He's made it quite often into my cubicle, though, thanks to a caring (or is it meddling?) boss who thinks I don't meet enough guys.

Clyde actually has scared a few people in the office, because most of his head is taller than the cubicle walls, so some people, when not looking closely, have been startled by him. I guess I can understand that, but the first morning he showed up in my cubicle, it didn't faze me at all. Maybe that's why he always ends up back with me, because I really don't mind his presence.

But I think this is even more proof that I need to get myself a real man.

-Me

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head." -Rita Rudner

Don't Stop Believing

If I talk more about dating, relationships, and love in general, there's a good reason for it: it's on my mind a lot these days. I apologize if this bothers you, but you can choose to stop reading and watch the latest viral video. You continue at your own risk, so don't come crying to me and say I didn't warn you. Maybe I should put it in big letters.

WARNING: Thoughts on my personal life follow.

Now that that's over, let us proceed. I have to admit, I've felt more than a little frustrated about dating lately, both for myself and for others. (but mostly for me. i'm selfish that way.) Different experiences have been contributing to my attitude, but unfortunately I've let those experiences cloud my vision more than they should. Occasionally I've felt myself falling into what Howard W. Hunter termed "The Three D's ... Despair, Doom, and Discouragement." Grr. It's time to make a change. Pres. Hunter was right when he said that those three D's "are not an acceptable view of life." That's why I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been given to hope.

Hope is a pretty amazing concept, principle, and restorative. I love what Pres. Uchtdorf says about it, that it "has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Its absence - when this desire of our heart is delayed - can make the heart sick." (in case you couldn't tell from my constant quoting of pres. uchtdorf, he's my favorite.) I know that to be true, that when I give into despair and don't hope, my heart is sick. I am completely unhappy when I believe the worst about relationships and my ability to find someone with whom I can be happy. That's when I forget to hope. Shame on me.

But through it all, I know that hoping is better than despairing. Sure, I've had discouraging experiences to put me off, but I've also had numerous experiences giving me hope that I'm going to be all right, whether I'm married or single. (although they mainly give me hope that i won't be single forever ... i actually prefer that hope.) Some experiences are pretty personal, and I won't elaborate on them here (shock! megan actually keeps quiet about some things!), but suffice it to say that they have come.

I think it is one of God's tender mercies that he gives me reminders to restore hope in mankind, myself, and dating. At ward temple night, Betsey and I reminded ourselves of the good guys we know, the ones that give us hope that it is possible to find a good man in this crazy world. The little things that I actually do right, those things that make me remember that I'm a good person despite my failings, gives me hope that I am improving and making myself better for a future husband and family.

Hope restored does wonders for my attitude and most likely improves my chances of actually being asked out by a guy I want to be around. Who would want to date a bitter girl who believes the worst about herself? If I were a guy, I sure wouldn't. I don't want to be that girl. So I'm going to remember to hope, to be happy, to remember what God has already done for me and what He has promised.

If you're struggling with hope, I echo Pres. Uchtdorf's words: "And to all who suffer - to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely - I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit." There is so much to hope for. (even marriage for megan. ;) )

-Me

"My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August." -Ronnie Shakes