No Al, No Al

December is two-thirds over. Wow. And just when I was getting used to writing 2010 on my checks.

By this time tomorrow, I will be chillin' in Oregon, and I'm incredibly excited for the break. After the last couple of weeks planning all the musical programs for church (and dealing with people canceling and last-minute practices because everybody is always so busy this time of year), I'm really looking forward to going to church with my parents next week simply because I won't have to lug around a bag of music. I'm also especially pumped to not have to worry about going to work for a week. Huzzah!

But despite my relief that the music programs I planned are over, I was very happy with how they turned out. I'm pretty lucky to be surrounded by talented and dedicated people who are willing to share. And then of course there are the treats accompanying all these things. Mmm...

This last weekend was quite splendiferous. Saturday Glen and I headed up north, with a quick visit to a sleepy Esther on the way, to my sister's to hang out and attend Kelly's piano student recital, in which my oldest niece and nephew played. Kelly and I played to finish off the extravaganza, so I'm definitely getting in my practice on the Sleigh Ride duet. (you ready for me, mom?) Anyway, we had a good time listening and then hanging out for a bit. That evening was my ward's Christmas dinner, so I ate some scrumptious food and enjoyed the company of ward friends as we all made fun of the ugly sweaters that people were sporting.

Glen and I exchanged gifts last night, and I am not ashamed to admit that a portion of my gift(s) to him was partly for my benefit. He lives in a very typical boys' apartment, so I'm not sure they've even heard of measuring cups. But now he can measure to his heart's content. (and so can i when i go over there.) And while I gave practical gifts, he gave me a very sweet one: a necklace. Thus marks the first time a boy has ever given me jewelry. I kind of like it. :) (and when i say "kind of", i mean "really".)

-Me

"Christmas is not about being with people you like! It's about being with your family!" -Tim Taylor

And a Partridge In a Pear Tree

One of my favorite feelings about the more ... commercialized, we'll call it ... aspect of Christmas is the glee about gift-giving. I know that it's incredibly easy to just give a gift card, and let's face it - getting money can be very handy. But I really love it when I've picked a present for someone that I think they will really enjoy or love. I'm not going to say I always pick (or make, for that matter) the perfect gift, but there are a couple this year that I'm pretty excited to know what the recipients will think of them. At least I know for sure that Becky liked the knee pads. One for one so far this year.

Oh, the anticipation.

This is a series of me opening a gift a couple years ago. The ensuing delight is what I'd like others to exhibit when they open gifts from me.

I think she likes it.

-Me

"You haven't given me a gift; you've given me an obligation!" -Sheldon Cooper

Chow Down

It was only a matter of time. Last fall/winter I managed to not get a cold. No sniffles, no sore throats, nothing like that. It was a relief, considering the winter before I think I had a cold three different times. (as i recall, all of us who resided in the halfway house that winter were sick quite often.) I guess I was long overdue for a stuffy nose.

I'm going to be bold and blame my nephew for getting me sick. The poor kid was coughing up a storm while I was at my sister's for Thanksgiving. But I'm still glad I made my way to Kelly's for the holiday. As ever, I always forget to take pictures when it comes to Thanksgiving with my family, so no pictures from that. I was there a couple of days, and it was pretty fun. The food was delicious, naturally, and Kelly made a fantastic pot of hot tomato. Mmm.

And now ... bring on Christmas! I witnessed (and helped very little) the ornamentation of the tree and decorating of the house at my sister's before I came back home, where the tree had already been put up by my extremely efficient roommate. Monday night the ward headed up to Salt Lake to see the lights on Temple Square, and while it was bitterly cold, I always enjoy seeing the lights, and this time was no exception. (the experience also did wonders for my cold. ;) )

Now I get to worry about what to give people for Christmas ... hmm. Suggestions?

-Me

"On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime." -Unknown

It's All in the Family

It really is too bad that the time of year when you see your family the most is when weather is at its worst. At a family dinner last night, my brother made that comment and he and his wife contemplated starting a holiday during the summer that would gather the family together. That way, you wouldn't have to worry about the weather interfering with any plans you make. (theoretically.) I'm with you, guys. I'm with you.

But I have enjoyed seeing my family more often in the last month or so. Several of us got together last month when my folks were in town, and my cousin Ryan decided he liked the idea of us all seeing each other, so that evening he picked a date for us all to get together again.

(pictures courtesy of steph hodgwoman ... well, "courtesy" in that i stole them from her facebook album)

So a week and a half ago, all of us Utah-dwellers, plus some Colorado visitors, got together. It was quite the group, and it's just a given that when three of more of us on the Kelly side are together, it's going to be a loud evening. A very loud evening. But the volume is ultimately worth it when you're surrounded by people who love you and who you love. (awww...) What is especially fortunate is that Glen wasn't scared away by the decibel level of my family. He still willingly saw me the next day and everything! More daunting to him is the task of remembering who was who. Good luck!

And what with the major holiday coming up in a couple days, Tom and Lisa drove down from Oregon to spend a week with her family, so a few of us got together for dinner last night. Wasn't as big a group, but we can still make our presence known, even in a large sports "bar" (yeah, no one was actually sitting at the bar ... welcome to orem). Once I finish with work this week, I get to spend Thanksgiving up at Kelly's place, too, so that will be most excellent. Lots of family time. It's great.

-Me

"There is plenty of peace in a home where the family doesn't make the mistake of trying to get together." -Kin Hubbard

Spin It, Let's Begin It

Thanks to a certain youtube video, I have spent the last week or so getting various theme songs stuck in my head. (darkwing duck spent nearly the whole day with me on monday.) Childhood reminiscing can be pretty fun, when you realize what silly things stuck out to you and what your favorites were.

Barkley. I always wanted a big fuzzy dog like Barkley. He didn't appear a whole lot on Sesame Street when I watched it, but when he did, I smiled. (trivia: the name "barkley" was a consideration when jim henson and co. were naming rowlf the dog.)

Daniel the Tiger. Shy, soft-spoken, and sweet puppet in the Land of Make-Believe on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood. Although, I kind of think I just liked the clock that he lived in.

TaleSpin. Shere Khan as a business tycoon in those snazzy suits? Sheer (no pun intended) genius. Baloo as a hot-shot pilot? Niiiice. And (former king) Louie as a bartender? Excellent. Add in that catchy theme song and you've got a hit. (especially since there was no mowgli in sight.)

Adding to my nerdy nature, I'm including a Power Ranger. But not Tommy the "heart throb" or Jason the de facto leader. Billy, the blue Ranger. Totally my favorite. He had the geek thing going for him, and I loved it. ("geek thing" also explained donatello as my favorite ninja turtle.)

And going back to the Disney afternoon line-up, my favorite cartoon of those was Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. Whether Monty was being lured by the scintillating smell of "cheeeeeese" or Gadget continued to be oblivious to Chip and Dale vying for her attention, I loved this show.

Of course, I didn't realize until later in life that Chip and Dale were modeled after Harrison Ford and Tom Selleck. Which naturally adds to their awesomeness.

-Me

"Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped." -Sam Levenson

Smile

I know the following statement may come as a shock to my readers, considering how open I am about my life, but there are some things I am a little shy about sharing on this blog, even when I'm very happy about them. But, hey, since I have no problem talking about a lack of a dating life, I shouldn't have a problem talking about having one, either.

In other words ... Megan has a boyfriend. (insert big smiley face here.)

I do not use exclamation points because I am attempting to play it cool. (ha!) But if you want details and such, please feel free to contact me and ask, and I will most definitely be using more exclamation points as I share than you really wish me to. Okay, here are a few that just need to get out.

!!!!!

I feel like I should write more, but I'll leave it at that, and you may draw your own conclusions. ;)

Oh, also, his name is Glen. :) (sound familar, anyone?)

-Me

"What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds." -Cindy Gardner

Cold Feet

It's officially cold. I'm wearing scarfs, sweaters, and gloves, and I used the rice bag last night to warm my feet as I went to sleep. (thank you again, becky!) It's a good thing I look cute in winter accessories; there's got to be an upside to bundling up. Gotta keep warm, gotta keep warm.

I moved into my new office last week! Hooray! No, not a promotion or anything; the space was just freed up. I was pretty happy about the move. Now I don't have to look like a deviant looking through other people's offices just to take a look outside. Granted, my view isn't incredibly amazing ... there's a nice cement wall ... but I can see the sky. Lots of fun new things in my life these days. It all adds up to me being amazingly blessed.

Last weekend I took a jaunt to BYU campus and attended the Women's/Men's Chorus concert. They both sounded awesome, and I did feel a tad sentimental when the Women's Chorus took their place on stage. Naturally, the people in the audience only ever truly come for the Men's Chorus, as evidenced by the numerous cheers that rang through the hall when their turn came around. They sang some beautiful sets, as well as finishing off with a rousing, riveting, and ridiculous set that included "I Know An Old Lady" (yes, the one who swallows a fly). Boys acting silly and singing (yes, i'm looking at you, glen) ... makes for a great end to a fantastic concert.

-Me

"Our pens have turned into ink-sicles!" -Rat Clerks in Muppet Christmas Carol

I Put a Spell On You

If my Halloween costume looks slightly familiar to my regular readers, it's because it is. I had no desire to go searching for a different outfit after the time I took to find a dress for the murder mystery dinner a few weeks ago, so I was just the 30's Hollywood star again. I got many varying guesses about what exactly I was, too. I was just too generic to be a specific person, but not generic enough so that people automatically knew what era I was representing. Oh, well. What matters is that my feet were killing me by 10 p.m. because I'd been wearing those heels since 7 a.m. ;)

Me and the roomies before hitting the parties

Only because I think this is adorable

The office has changed a lot this last year, so Halloween wasn't quite the spooktacular it historically has been, but that's all right. Still managed to drink my way through four cups of hot chocolate (the sweets fast ended two days previous) and tie with Sylvia for the best costumes, although I think she should have been the sole winner of the Swedish fish. The owl with the red cape alone put her Briar Rose look far above my costume.

"Once upon a dream."

 Cute.

That night, the roomies and I (plus paul) headed to a couple of Halloween parties hosted by friends in the ward, which were both very fun. (i especially enjoyed bronson and jason singing to the soundtrack of "dr. horrible's sing-along-blog". natural performers.) We finished the evening by watching The Scarlet Pimpernel (not exactly a halloween-ish movie, is it?), but I was so tired that I made it only halfway before heading to bed. Mmm, sleep.

Guess the Disney princess look is "in". Beautiful Jen.

Dr. Horrible, aka Bronson, agrees to a photo op.

Jason was a tad too realistic as a zombie.

 Oh, the humanity.

Maybe I'm childish this way, but I still have a lot of fun dressing up for Halloween. I generally decide at the last minute what I'll be, but it's fun putting something together and looking not-quite-myself. And I always love seeing what other people become. I think all my roommates looked particularly excellent: Betsey as Princess Lolly, Lisa as a fairy, and Sarah as Cleopatra. You all looked amazing, girls!

And Danny gets the prize for most surprising costume.

 Paul as the Goblin King, i.e. David Bowie, and Tiffany as Lady Gaga

How ... cute? (they looked awesome)

In other news, the old car has been sold! Don't worry, Lisa, I found it a good home.

-Me

"Peace! But not ... literally." -Dr. Horrible

I'll Save You From the Terror on the Screen

I still haven't decided if I enjoy being scared. You'd think that people wouldn't like being scared ... ever, but some individuals enjoy the adrenaline rush. Scary movies, rollercoasters, haunted houses, etc. They exist for a reason: some people like them. They have the luxury of being scared while remaining safe. Go figure.

I just don't know if I am one of the people who like or hate it. But I do know I like watching my friends be scared when I know what's coming. Last week, visiting the corn maze at Thanksgiving Point, while I got a little tired of the constant screaming by the girls with me, I rather enjoyed seeing them scared as I was the one to lead them through. (although ... i didn't know what was coming that time. i was just not nearly as scared as they were.)

Last night, I watched Wait Until Dark with some friends next door, and being blessed with the advantage of having seen the movie before, I was looking forward to the especially suspenseful and frightening moments. Why was I looking forward to them? Because I knew they would all jump and scream. And when they did so last night, I laughed. How incredibly mean of me.

And then I think of watching Arachnophobia last Friday next door. I saw it long ago as a little kid (can't believe i watched it at the age of six or seven ... how did that slip past mom's radar?), but there were only a couple of snippets I remembered. Was I laughing then? Nope. Half the movie, I was using my blanket to shield my eyes from the screen. No question about my enjoyment, or more appropriately, the lack thereof, during the evening. And yet, the "spider" my roommates planted in my bed didn't disturb me a bit. I felt it, wondered what it was, and promptly fell asleep. I wasn't even afraid to lift up my covers in the morning and discover what was at the foot of my bed. Curious.

I suppose it depends on the manner of being frightened that changes my pleasure in being so affected. Haunted maze? Fun-scared. Wait Until Dark? Fun-scared with the additional sadistic glee of seeing everybody else jump. Arachnophobia? NOT fun-scared. Creepy crawlies that can leap across a room and kill you? You can keep those particular thrills, thank you.

-Me

"Wait here, Audrey. This is between me and the vegetable." -Rick Moranis, Little Shop of Horrors

Go Greased Lightning

The king is dead. Long live the king.

I think this applies to the biggest news of my life of the last week, aside from my parents being in town and hanging with my family over the weekend. I got myself a new car!

Of course, it's a used car, but it's never been used by me, and it's been used less than the car I've been driving for the last three and a half years. I've been very fond of that good, faithful Corolla, but it was time for an upgrade to a car that proves I'm not still a poor college student.

So forgive me if I boast, and don't mock me too much when I say I got the feeling that I'd betrayed the old car as I drove past it the other day. But I'm pretty excited, and I think you should be, too! I'm liking my ride.

-Me

"Space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if you car could go straight upwards." -Fred Hoyle

They're Creepy and They're Kooky

I'll tell you one of the things I love about fall and the season of Halloween: the accessories! Actually, that's something I love about the holiday season in general, because it's definitely not restricted to just Halloween. But currently it's October, and that's the holiday on the brain, especially after visiting the haunted maze and going on the hay ride last night (what fun to have my friends cling to my jacket as we walked ... and occasionally ran ... through the maze. when did i become the brave one?).

I love my Halloween earrings. I believe the count is at six or seven pairs, all of which I think are so fun. Not to be less regarded are the hair clips, necklaces, and socks that illuminate what this season is really about, namely black cats, spider webs, and skeletons. When October began and I wore my pumpkin-headed scarecrow earrings to work, I literally hopped a little as I showed them off in exuberant delight to my amused co-workers.

Sylvia says that I remind her of kindergarten teachers with my adoration of the Halloween accessories, but I disagree. I have not bought a Halloween sweater, after all.

Maybe next year.

-Me

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." -Harold Wilson

Blue Monday

You know you've had a good weekend when you come to work on Monday even more tired than when you left it on Friday afternoon. The only downside? You come to work on Monday even more tired than when you left it on Friday afternoon.

I already said something about this, but I'll repeat that I watched ... a really wonderful movie ... with some gal pals on Friday night. It had been a few months since I'd watched it, and I was most definitely craving it. The friends who came had also already seen it, so we actually spent a lot of time jabbering away while the movie played, only pausing to swoon during significant scenes (and some others in between). Of course, there was also the inevitable laughter generated at my expense as I pointed out the lack of a cravat in a scene and then later when I started cawing like a crow in response to a comment of Megan's.

I looked simply fabulous on Saturday night as an up-and-coming 1930s Hollywood actress/director while attending a murder mystery dinner. (and i better have, considering the effort i went through to find a dress. finally went up to salt lake that morning to patronize a vintage clothing store.) You'd think that accusing seven other people for two and a half hours for the murder of the big-time producer who turns out to be your uncle wouldn't be too entertaining, but I had a lot of fun. Trying to segue into revealing important information as everybody else was doing the same thing was sometimes a bit of a chore, but I was pretty pleased with my ability to do so semi-effectively. And I felt pretty doing it, which is naturally what is most important to me.

(and now i don't have to worry about what i'm going to be for halloween.)

Glen and me in our get-ups.

Sunday evening, I attended a "24 years and older" singles' dinner that turned out to be quite the large affair. The whole point was to mingle and mix, and I met a couple of new people, but I spent the chief of my time chatting it up with friends, all the while resisting the urge to consume any of the cookies I brought with me. (silly sugar fast. is it november yet?)

-Me

"One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend." -Quentin Crisp

A Lovely Night

I'm hopeless.

Watched North and South tonight with some girlfriends.

That should explain my opening sentence pretty well. :)

-Me

"Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays." -Oscar Wilde

Always There to Be My Guy

There's a new man in my life. He likes to travel around, always has a smile on his face, and is a pretty sharp dresser. Allow me to introduce him. Clyde.

Okay, he hasn't really got much of a personality, but he always makes his way back to me. Beats me how he does it, though, considering he can't exactly move his feet. Clyde was introduced into our office a couple weeks ago during our Spirit Week, and it's become a running joke to wonder where he's going to turn up next. He's made it quite often into my cubicle, though, thanks to a caring (or is it meddling?) boss who thinks I don't meet enough guys.

Clyde actually has scared a few people in the office, because most of his head is taller than the cubicle walls, so some people, when not looking closely, have been startled by him. I guess I can understand that, but the first morning he showed up in my cubicle, it didn't faze me at all. Maybe that's why he always ends up back with me, because I really don't mind his presence.

But I think this is even more proof that I need to get myself a real man.

-Me

"My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head." -Rita Rudner

Don't Stop Believing

If I talk more about dating, relationships, and love in general, there's a good reason for it: it's on my mind a lot these days. I apologize if this bothers you, but you can choose to stop reading and watch the latest viral video. You continue at your own risk, so don't come crying to me and say I didn't warn you. Maybe I should put it in big letters.

WARNING: Thoughts on my personal life follow.

Now that that's over, let us proceed. I have to admit, I've felt more than a little frustrated about dating lately, both for myself and for others. (but mostly for me. i'm selfish that way.) Different experiences have been contributing to my attitude, but unfortunately I've let those experiences cloud my vision more than they should. Occasionally I've felt myself falling into what Howard W. Hunter termed "The Three D's ... Despair, Doom, and Discouragement." Grr. It's time to make a change. Pres. Hunter was right when he said that those three D's "are not an acceptable view of life." That's why I'm thankful for the opportunities I've been given to hope.

Hope is a pretty amazing concept, principle, and restorative. I love what Pres. Uchtdorf says about it, that it "has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Its absence - when this desire of our heart is delayed - can make the heart sick." (in case you couldn't tell from my constant quoting of pres. uchtdorf, he's my favorite.) I know that to be true, that when I give into despair and don't hope, my heart is sick. I am completely unhappy when I believe the worst about relationships and my ability to find someone with whom I can be happy. That's when I forget to hope. Shame on me.

But through it all, I know that hoping is better than despairing. Sure, I've had discouraging experiences to put me off, but I've also had numerous experiences giving me hope that I'm going to be all right, whether I'm married or single. (although they mainly give me hope that i won't be single forever ... i actually prefer that hope.) Some experiences are pretty personal, and I won't elaborate on them here (shock! megan actually keeps quiet about some things!), but suffice it to say that they have come.

I think it is one of God's tender mercies that he gives me reminders to restore hope in mankind, myself, and dating. At ward temple night, Betsey and I reminded ourselves of the good guys we know, the ones that give us hope that it is possible to find a good man in this crazy world. The little things that I actually do right, those things that make me remember that I'm a good person despite my failings, gives me hope that I am improving and making myself better for a future husband and family.

Hope restored does wonders for my attitude and most likely improves my chances of actually being asked out by a guy I want to be around. Who would want to date a bitter girl who believes the worst about herself? If I were a guy, I sure wouldn't. I don't want to be that girl. So I'm going to remember to hope, to be happy, to remember what God has already done for me and what He has promised.

If you're struggling with hope, I echo Pres. Uchtdorf's words: "And to all who suffer - to all who feel discouraged, worried, or lonely - I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in. Never surrender. Never allow despair to overcome your spirit." There is so much to hope for. (even marriage for megan. ;) )

-Me

"My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August." -Ronnie Shakes

Dancing in September

Fall approaches swiftly. The weather seems to be having a final hurrah this week with semi-high temperatures, but it's only a matter of time before it drops. That's all right. Just have to get in my outside time as much as possible before that happens. Fortunately, I had a few opportunities to do so over the weekend.

Thursday (yes, not the weekend, but this was an outdoor activity), several of the people in my office went to Mt. Timpanogos Park to do some planting, weeding, digging, etc., as part of our "Spirit Week". Trying to dig holes in rocky soil was quite a chore, but we were victorious, and it was so nice to have a break from the cubicle for a morning.

Worker bees

Was I really this happy digging in the impossible ground?

 Clint gets a little jarred from hitting some stubborn rock with the pick axe

Friday night Jay and I went to Sundance for the full moon lift ride. I was thankful that it was a clear night, because it would have felt kind of wasteful to go during cloud cover. Since this was the last weekend of the full moon rides, there were plenty of people (cough, cough, understatement) waiting around, so we stood in line a lot longer than I originally (and naively) anticipated. No worries. It was a tad chilly, but we survived, and it was excellent dangling my feet for an hour and talking under the stars.

 Token picture from the lift ride

Sunday afternoon, my roommates and I went out the canyon to see the changing colors. There were plenty of colors to see in the canyon as we drove, and we stopped at a park to have a photo session, but it's still early enough that the trees in the park were all pretty green. You had to look up a few feet to see red, orange, and yellow. But no matter. It was still a gorgeous day, so we had a good time walking around, taking pictures and climbing trees, simply enjoying ourselves and the afternoon.

Feelin' the love

 Cute girls Betsey, Sarah, and Lisa (yes, even with Betsey's face)

Gorgeous Lisa

Tree hugger

Betsey helps Lisa climb. How sweet.

 They took me seriously when I said "Attitude!"

I still don't know if I'm completely ready for the change of season, but at least I haven't been completely wasting the nice weather while we've got it. Besides, I know that there are aspects of fall that I love, so bring it on!

-Me

"September tries its best to have us forget summer." -Bern Williams

He Left All the Books to Her

The other day I was looking up possibilities of books to read and check out of the library (decided on The Brothers Karamazov and The Portrait of a Lady, if anybody's curious), and while searching through lists, I came upon a title written by Honore de Balzac. And the first thing that popped in my head was Hermione Gingold's (as Mrs. Shinn) distinctive, disgusted declaration of "Balllllllllzac!" in The Music Man. And it made me ponder how fun it is that we associate completely disparate things together, that hearing or seeing one thing can make us think of another. (Of course, I also had "Pick-a-Little, Talk-a-Little" stuck in my head the rest of the day, too.)

Okay, so Mrs. Shinn referring directly to Balzac isn't much of a stretch of the imagination, but what else makes me think of something completely different, that because of experience I associate two distinct (and possibly random) items with one another?

1. Ballroom Dancing with Gilbert Blythe. How did that happen? Thanks to an old friend named Caleb, who did ballroom dancing, but also dressed as Gilbert Blythe for Halloween one year to complement Megan Young's Anne Shirley.

2. Family Dinners with The Three Musketeers. Because half our dinner conversation while I was growing up was probably movie quotes, I suppose any movie could suffice, but I always think of my brothers quoting Rochefort. My opinion is that they did it in order to imitate his gravelly voice, but I still laugh when I think of them saying such things as "Burn it" and "There are three". (and then i laugh harder when i remember that i occasionally made the mistake of trying to imitate him, too.)

3. "The Blue Danube" and American Football. I wrote about this in a previous post, but it's definitely one worth mentioning again for the sake of this list. Thanks to a terrible little film named "NFL's Greatest Hits", this music and sport will forever be linked together in my memory.

4. Kinko's and Little People. No, not the politically correct term for midgets, but the Fisher-Price toy brand. I don't know if it was a Kinko's, but when I was little, I remember going with my mother to a copying store and there were toys to play with while I waited. I don't even know for sure if it the toys there actually were Little People, but that's what pops in my head whenever I walk into my local Kinko's to make a copy.

Weird, huh? There are lots of other little things, and of course they don't matter to anyone but me. But I suppose that's what makes me special. Unique. A little strange. "Pick-a-little, talk-a-little, cheep!"

-Me

"The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do.' But I think the gun helps." -Eddie Izzard

All My Only Dreams

I never used to be able to remember my dreams. I kind of miss those days. I wouldn't call my dreams at all prophetic, considering I never plan on creeping around my church building with Josh Groban, a la James Bond, or falling in love with a potential murderer or getting shot in the shoulder by a group of renegade soldiers. But it does make me (and others) wonder ... what is going on with my head?

I suppose dreams aren't ever supposed to be normal, but mine have certainly strayed to the morbid side of the dream spectrum. Murder, unrequited love, skulking, shootings, being forced into an office I don't wish to enter (or was that reality?) ... None of them have been nightmares, per se, but goodness. How about something a little more uplifting and hopeful? (yes, being forced into an office was a dream, but i don't know why i didn't want to go in. maybe there was a balrog on the other side?)

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to have dreams where I'm skipping in meadows of daisies, singing "I Honestly Love You". (there's an image.) I'd wake myself up retching if that were the case. I wouldn't mind some happy love; not overkill, naturally. Or if there has to be action, I'd be more than happy to destroy the Death Star or escape the crumbling walls of the cavern housing the Holy Grail. And if there has to be unrequited love, I'd be perfectly content if it were someone else's love for me ... someone else like, oh, I don't know, Richard Armitage, for example.

In my dreams. Oh, wait ...

I'll just have to accept that I can't control my dreams while I'm asleep. At least I can have a semblance of control over ones I have when I'm awake. The one where I become a famous author/singer and can afford a new car is an especially nice one.

Yeah. This is a good dream.

-Me

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg

That Don't Impress Me Much

I'd like the publicly thank Elder Scott for calling movie dates "stupid" because 1), it's pretty much totally true, and 2), it made me laugh out loud during the CES fireside on Sunday night. I will admit, I've gone on movie dates (both by asking and being asked), and none of them have been bad, mostly because I've generally gone with guys that I already knew to some degree and we had fun commenting on them.

But it's true. Movie dates are stupid. And after being a third wheel to an extremely awkward and terrible movie date on Friday night, I especially feel that way. Even if it's going well and you're getting along, movie dates are still a bad idea.

So begins my list of dating activities and habits that I definitely think are faux pas (and i've done some of them myself, so this is partly learned from personal experience):

1. Movie dates. Sure, it's fine once you've known each other awhile, but if you're attempting to know someone better, sitting in the dark for two hours with them isn't going to help you do so. (that goes for making out, too.)

2. Over-long dates. There's nothing wrong with keeping a date short. One of my favorite dates in semi-recent history was an ice cream date that wasn't much more than an hour. Bulking up on activities or attempting to draw it out, even if you're both interested, just isn't worth it.

3. DTRs on a second date. "Oh, my gosh, we've made it to a second date, which means you must really like me a lot, so please be my boyfriend!" Okay, maybe they're not that desperate, but unfortunately several boys and girls (in utah county especially) go on so few dates that when the miraculous second date occurs with the same person, you jump the gun.

3a. Actually, DTRs in general. While not always required, they are often a necessary evil. But I don't think anyone enjoys them, even if there's a good outcome.

4. Mentioning past relationships. While you may want your date to know that you are attractive and past relationships are proof that at one time someone thought you were, you also don't want to make your date think you're still hung up on a previous significant other ... or that you're a bitter girl who hates men as a result of a bad break-up.

5. Obsession with being original and creative. Sure, you want to make an impression, especially if you're hoping for recurring dates, but it can cause some really unnecessary grief. Pres. Uchtdorf had it right when he said, "Dates don't have to be -- and in most cases shouldn't be -- expensive and over-planned affairs. ... Relax. Find simple ways to be together." Amen to that. Maybe I'm boring, but the standard activities that people are afraid to repeat simply because they're unoriginal are more than acceptable to me. I still like having fun, but you can have fun going out for ice cream. There's a good reason why it's a tried-and-true activity.

(something about this list tells me i like ice cream.)

So what are some good dating habits? Maybe that should be my next post, so I'm not just focusing on the negative.

-Me

"Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer." -Rita Mae Brown

Gotta Get Back in Time

My neighbor borrowed my Back to the Future trilogy a couple weeks ago, and naturally any mention of those movies brings on some very deep discussions among my friends. A popular discussion topic, with the year 2015 nearing, is how accurate Back to the Future II was in depicting its fictional future. What futuristic devices from that movie do we use now or could come close to using in five years? (disclaimer: i do not stay up on recent technology or inventions, so this is all my limited perception at the current moment.)

First things first: Successful predictions.

1. Multiple-station TV. With picture-in-picture settings for televisions and multiple-tabbed-internet use, this definitely makes the list of accurate predictions (plus, it's clearly a flat-screen tv).

2. Video conferencing. Granted, the picture is never as clear over Skype or Gchat as it is when Marty gets railed on (and subsequently terminated) by his angry Japanese boss, but we've definitely got it ... as well as five years to improve the clarity.

3. Video advertising. Goldie Wilson III basically gives a commercial from a billboard. Yeah, we've got automated billboards, and video advertising abounds on the internet (banner ads, anyone?).

Unfortunately, the number of failed predictions far exceeds the number of successful ones. Examples include:

1. Food hydrators. As nice as it would be to have really, really tiny food that expands within a matter of seconds so as to save room in the freezer, this just hasn't come to pass. We'll have to content ourselves with our microwaves.

2. Holographic movie titles. This one is debatable, considering the trend of 3-D movies in the last couple of years, but anybody wearing the 3-D glasses outside of the theater simply for the experience of being attacked by the 19th incarnation of Jaws is just going to look like a goober.

3. Self-drying clothes. While this would come in handy the next time you're being chased by bullies and have to make a quick escape into the pond in the courthouse square, I'd suggest stashing a change of clothes elsewhere if you want to become instantly dry again. On a related note, we're not any close to inventing jackets that automatically adjust their sleeve-length, although apparently Nike's filed a patent on self-lacing shoes (but you'd still have to press a button to get it done, which defeats the whole purpose).

4. Hover boards. Far and away this is the prediction that has caused the greatest disappointment among my generation by not coming true. The hover conversion (complete with flying cars) maybe could still happen some day. There is hover technology out there (for bunches of dollars), after all. But it's definitely not at a point where it will be so prolific in five years that child-geared hover boards are produced en masse by Mattel.

So, for a little while, where we're going, we will still need roads.

-Me

"The future will be better tomorrow." -Dan Quayle